Within a period of a couple of days I watched “The Hunger Games”- a movie about teenagers ordered to kill each other, read up on reports of more suicide bombings and mass murders, learned about Ashley Judd correctly taking issue with shallow critics and objectifiers of her physicality, and read a dozen or more news stories about some form of violence between humans.
A key word related to all of these incidents is Objectification. As we identify more with our groups, our bodies and other sources of insecurities, as well as with what we hate, – and identify less with our shared humanity, we can come to objectify each other and forget our shared bond. Not a good thing, but happening more and more. Just watch the news.
If we were to put aggressive behaviors on a hypothetical continuum from the “worst” to the “least negative”, we’d start with murder. It might continue as physical abuse and threats, cruelty, bullying, intimidation, harassment, control, meanness, passive-aggressiveness, and unkindness. Even snarkiness has a spot here. They are all on the same continuum and all are a manifestation of the aggressor’s projected lack of secure attachment she has with herself.
It may be argued that this resulted from her lack of a secure attachment with her primary caregiver(s), but ultimately this reflects that she never achieved full “right relationship” with herself. If you have enough of this positive attachment, you are mainly a truly kind person. Hence, my point here that even the “least” on this continuum – unkindness, if long standing – is reflective of what could unofficially be called an attachment disorder.
Think about it.